Reclaiming the life that infertility stole......through Connection
Just like Your Fertility Haven, this blog is a safe space you can come, immerse yourself and feel comforted that you are not alone. It will provide you with ideas and concepts you can implement to move forward from feeling consumed and stuck in infertility. It will inspire you and provide you with the hope you’ve been seeking, and it may even entertain you and make you laugh.
Yes – remember the days when you used to laugh so hard you’d snort and have tears rolling down your cheeks?
Ok, so this blog may not make you do that, but it will definitely reconnect you with yourself and life outside infertility.
And because of that, it only seemed fitting to dedicate this first post to RECONNECTING.
Because infertility can feel like you're floating at sea without a compass, a paddle or a life raft. And depending on how long you’ve been out there and how many storms you’ve weathered; it may feel like you’re completely alone and disconnected from everything.
You no longer recognise the woman staring back at you in the mirror. She’s negative, sad and lacking
motivation to even get out of bed in the morning.
You feel distant from your partner. Sex isn’t about love and fun anymore, and every conversation revolves around where you’re at in your cycle.
You don’t hang around your friends anymore and would rather spend your weekends on the couch watching re-runs of Friends, than getting out and about.
And every thought from the moment you open your eyes in the morning until they close at night revolves around babies.
When someone asks you how you are, you automatically go into detail of your last cycle and where you’re at – it has become not just a chapter in your story, but the whole book.
Reconnecting with yourself and those around you is the first step to reclaiming your life.
So how the hell do you do that when you’re so consumed that you can’t see the light?
Infertility is definitely a lonely road, but it doesn’t have to be. Look around you sister. You’re not alone. There are others that are travelling this path too. You don’t have to carry the burden of infertility around on your shoulders.
Infertility is a part of your life, but it is not the whole lot. In order to release some of that pressure, you need to speak your truth. Not the censored version you tell your loved ones. But what is really going on in your head?
Grab a journal, speak to someone who has been down a similar path and understands what you’re going through.
Just tell your story.
This will help you let down your walls and open up about the thoughts and feelings you’ve been holding onto for so long.
The truth will set you free. I’m serious. THIS is exactly how I’ve been able to accept and release the hold that infertility had on my life for 10 years.
YOU ARE NOT INFERTILITY.
You may be diagnosed with infertility, but it does not make up who you are. It is your circumstance, not your being.
In order to reconnect with YOU, you need to take yourself on a date, Tinder-style. Yep, let’s get to know you and what you love all over again. Your favourite food, your hobbies, your favourite place. As silly as it may feel, write a list. Name all the things that give you joy, light you up, and make you laugh.
Enlist the help of your partner or friends and keep building that list. Get excited. NOW GO OUT AND DO THEM!!
Understanding that our value is not in our ability to have a baby, in the job we work at, the house we live in, and the car we drive is THE most important part of this journey. And I don’t mean your fertility journey, I mean your life.
You are amazing, you are strong, you are important. You just got a little distracted along the way, and that’s ok. Get back up, stand tall, and know that Infertility is not your whole story – it’s merely a chapter.
p.s. listen to this awesome interview with Cathy McKinnon on how you can reconnect.