7 years suffering from infertility prepared me for a pandemic.
I’m one of the most prepared people you will ever meet. I think ten steps ahead and map out all scenarios before making a move.
Every time my husband and I go on holidays we say we’ll just “wing it”, but it never goes down like that. We have every hour mapped out.
Take this blog post. I’ve allowed myself a time limit to get it completed, because I have other things scheduled in afterward.
So, when infertility came along, it knocked me on my ass.
In all aspects of pregnancy planning I had it all figured out. I was taking pre-natal vitamins and had been taking them for the last couple of months, because everyone knows that’s what you should do. I stopped taking the contraceptive pill on our honeymoon because I wanted to time it exactly right and didn’t want to be pregnant and unable to celebrate our nuptials with our family and friends. I looked at my calendar and cleared it for the next nine months. We were in full swing baby making mode.
What I hadn’t planned on is a life without children. And after 6 months of trying and nothing happening, I was on the edge of a personal crisis.
Fast forward 10 years and I’m sitting in a coffee shop, typing this blog, having just dropped my 2 children to school. The world is consumed by Coronavirus and there is mass fear. I went and did the grocery shopping yesterday and while there was no hysteria or fighting in the aisles for toilet paper, there was a sense of foreboding.
Today I am prepared for this pandemic. Infertility prepared me.
7 years of being unable to control the outcome, living with the fear of not being a mum, constant triggers i.e. babies and pregnant women around me, means I can sit here and not feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Preparation is essential to infertility and life in general, and this current crisis is just reaffirming it even further for me.
It is easy to get pulled down the fear / unknown / negativity / hopelessness worm hole.
The people who will sit up the top are the ones who are mentally strong. And mental toughness is what infertility is all about.
It’s the ability to get up after every setback. Release control of the outcome to the universe. Trust that things will work out how they’re supposed to. See the positives in the situation. Be guided by love and not fear. Show compassion to others instead of pushing them down. Being aware of your emotions and when you need to, take a step back and re-energise.
Was I prepared on my 7 year fertility journey? Hell no! The only thing I kept on doing was getting back up. Sure, it got me 2 beautiful children, but it cost me a lot (both financially and emotionally).
So HOW do you prepare yourself for this journey and keep from going down that rabbit hole like Alice?
Here are 10 ways you can prepare yourself for the emotional ups and downs of infertility and life in general –
1. Self care – loads of it. And before you say “I don’t have time”, MAKE TIME. I cannot stress that enough. Carve out 30 minutes here and there. If you scroll facebook or Instagram, you sure as shit have time. It doesn’t have to cost you money – sunshine and fresh air are free. If you’d like a few suggestions, refer to my Instagram post – Self care tips
2. Journaling – get those thoughts out of your head. All of them. You’d be surprised how much shit is floating around in there.
3. Meditate – now before you roll your eyes and say “I can’t stop my mind long enough to meditate and I just end up getting more pissed of”, I used to say that too. I have developed some tips on how a Type A personality (like moi) can meditate without throwing your eye pillow out the window. Jump on over to my Youtube channel to check out some tips here Mediation for Type A personalities
4. Sleep – you cannot be brave if you’re tired. 7-9 hours per night is essential.
5. Morning Routine – this is my thing. Your day continues as it starts, so if you’re running out of the house screaming while shoving a piece of toast in your head, that’s how the rest of your day will pan out.
6. Breathing – simple right?
7. Practice gratitude – freaking hard when life is turning to shit. But what you focus on, grows. So, if you don’t want to be in the middle of a shit storm, switch it up. I guarantee you, there is always something to be grateful for, no matter how small.
8. Random acts of kindness – not only will it make someone else’s day, but it is also scientifically proven to increase your immune system, calm you down, increase motivation and reduce pain.
9. Music therapy – plug in your earphones and dance like no-one is watching!
And THE most important tip – ACCEPT HELP!!!!
Why is it so bloody hard to take someone’s hand when it’s offered? Why do we feel like we need to travel this path alone?
I never asked for help because I figured it would all be over soon enough. I don’t need help; we’ll probably be pregnant next month. I said that for 7 freaking years!!!
FACT - we will always be on this journey for longer than we expect.
Accept help.
If you’re ready to accept help and be supported on your fertility journey, here’s how - Personal coaching program
p.s. If you struggle with pregnancy announcements and find yourself cringing every time you open your social media account, don’t miss out on your FREE Pregnancy Announcement Survival guide. Fear no more, because this is tried and tested!!