Stop suffering from infertility and make the path to pregnancy a little easier.

Infertility would have to be one of the most painful things I’ve experienced. And I don’t mean physical pain (although those trigger shots were the worst!), I mean emotional pain. I spent 7 years locked on the inside of my fertility journey, wondering what I had done to deserve it. Looking back, it wasn’t just painful……I suffered…….a lot.

And it makes me a little sad.

Because I didn’t have to suffer. I had a choice. And no, I haven’t gone crazy. Granted, I did not choose my circumstances. But I DID choose to suffer, and I’m going to explain why.

Now, before we dive in, this isn’t a blog about how to eliminate your pain. I can’t do that for you, and life will always have elements of pain. Pain is a normal part of life, so there’s no point in resisting it. In fact, if we don’t feel pain, we won’t feel joy.

I’m not here to tell you to push the feelings or the pain down – because I know first-hand that it doesn’t work. In fact, it sets you up for a major meltdown. And by meltdown, I mean when you drop your keys and you find yourself sobbing in the carpark at work, unable to pull yourself together. And then it escalates into punishing yourself over being so weak. You may even start to think that you’re losing your mind……….and perhaps you are?

I’m giving you permission to feel the pain. Be sad and frustrated. But that’s where it stops.

Because while infertility is freaking painful………..there is no need to suffer as a result.

Pain on this journey is inevitable, suffering is optional.

So, what’s the difference between PAIN and SUFFERING?

Pain is what happens.

Suffering is the story that we layer on top of what happens – and it begins in the mind.

Let me demonstrate the difference –

How do you stop the cycle before you head straight on through the keeper and into suffering territory?

When the pain hits, feel it. Feel the disappointment and sadness and jealousy. Accept your emotions and don’t take on any guilt for feeling like that. You are entitled to feel ALL of those things. You don’t have to pile on the suffering by adding judgement or punishing yourself for feeling like this.

You’re entitled to cry and scream and throw a tantrum. Throw a pity party.

Then stop yourself before you start playing that hate / guilt story over and over again in the background.

Breathe…….feel it……..then stop.

If you’d like to hear more on this topic, jump on over to Infertility Unfiltered, an interview series where fertility experts and warriors are joining forces to share facts, tips, lessons and inspiration – so you can take back control of your life, and get your baby on board.

I was honoured to host Amy Klein, author of the newly released book, The Trying Game - get through fertility treatment and get pregnant without losing your mind. We discussed the difference between pain and suffering and ways you can handle insensitive comments.